Wedding Invitation Envelope Etiquette
This guide on how to address wedding invitations and general envelope etiquette presumes the couple is planning a somewhat more formal wedding as that reflects most of my clientele.
It also assumes that you’re arranging a single, outer envelope invitation and not an outer and inner envelope.
There are more iterations of couples, titles, and households than one realizes until we start to compile a wedding guest list! This stationery etiquette guide will give you confidence that you and your fiancée are properly respecting your family, friends, and colleagues on your Save-the-Dates and invitation envelopes. In the realm of social correspondence, the addressing of formal envelopes reflects not only the respect and consideration you feel toward the recipients but also embodies your own attention to detail and adherence to traditional etiquettes.
This post outlines the rules and conventions that are essential to crafting an elegantly addressed envelope.
The Importance of Envelope Addressing Etiquette
Envelope addressing etiquette is more than a mere formality; it sets the tone for the coming event! It is especially pertinent in the context of wedding invitations, gala events, and formal business correspondences. The manner in which an envelope is addressed can convey the level of formality of the event, your relationship to the recipient, and your own familiarity with social graces.
Basic Tips for Addressing Formal Envelopes
Names and Titles: The full names of the recipients should be used, including appropriate titles such as Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc. Titles should reflect the recipients' preferences and professional standings.
Spouses and Couples: When addressing a couple, traditionally the man’s name precedes the woman’s (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). However, in contemporary practice, names can be listed alphabetically or in the order the sender prefers.
Unmarried Couples and Cohabitants: When inviting an unmarried couple living together, full names should be included on separate lines.
Families: For families, the envelope can be addressed to the entire family by using the parents' names (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family).
Professional Titles: When addressing individuals with professional titles, the title should precede the name (e.g., Doctor, Judge, Reverend).
Examples of Standard Guest Variations
Couple, married, she has hyphenated her name:
Mr. Michael Stratford and Ms. Anna Amberly-Stratford
Couple, married, she has taken her husband’s name:
Mr. Michael Stratford and Mrs. Anna Stratford
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Stratford
Couple, married, maiden name is retained:
Mr. Michael Stratford and Ms. Anna Amberly
Couple and adult child living in their household:
(Formal) the adult child receives their own invitation
Mr. and Mrs. Jason Wright
(separately) Ms. Tara Wright
Single adult and adult child living in their household:
Ms. Jason Wright and Ms. Tara Wright
(formal) each receives their own invitation
Couple and their children:
Mr. and Mrs. Zachary Taylor and Family
The Zachary Taylor Family
(formal) Mr. and Mrs. Zachary Taylor (2nd line) Miss Emma and Master (under 13) or Mr. (over 13) Johnnie
Couple and their child or children over 18:
Same as above and the child over 18 receives their own invitation.
One of the couple is a Dr.
Dr. Carmen and Mr. Ian Forsythe
Both of the couple are Drs.
(Formal) The Doctors Forsythe
Doctors Ian and Carmen Forsythe
Doctor Ian and Doctor Carmen Forsythe
Invitee, under 13
Miss Briget Young
Master Brad Young
Your invitee’s Plus One is unknown and you’re unable to acquire the name
Mr. Charles Whitmore and Guest
Your couple is same-sex and share a surname;
Mr. Michael and Mr. Aaron Jaxson
Your couple is same-sex and retain their surnames;
Mr. Michael Stratford and Mr. Aaron Jaxson
Ms. Ana Miller and Ms. Jett Swan
One of your couple is Judge/Justice
The Honorable Eugene Magnussen and Mrs. Kate Magnussen
The Honorable Kate Magnussen and Mr. Eugene Magnussen
Your couple is engaged to be married and living together:
Ms. Jane Austen and Mr. John Doe
Your couple is engaged to be married and not living together:
Each guest receives their own invitation at their own address
The Future Mr. Andrew Cioczek and Mr. Anthony Lee
Your guest is a family with several children
Mr. and Mrs. Edwin Drood-Smith
Master James, Master William, Master Michael
Miss Emily, Miss Sophia, Miss Olivia, Miss Ava
The Invitation Street Address
The address is the simplest part of a correctly addressed envelope. The post office determines the wording and format to a large degree. However, professional calligraphers will spell out any words that are typically abbreviated: Street, Avenue, Boulevard, Apartment, Suite, North, South, etc. Also, cities and states are fully spelled out, “Los Angeles, California” and never “L.A., CA”. But calligraphers will reserve the right to abbreviate where necessary or split lines for aesthetic reasons.
These lengthened lines of text provide visual balance, formality, and accuracy. They also provide more opportunities for your wedding calligrapher to incorporate flourishing.
Foreign Envelopes and Invitations
Foreign addresses are formatted differently according to country. Be prepared to pay a slight increase in your ‘per envelope’ cost for multi-lined foreign addresses. The prep time and extra attention to layout and accuracy ensure that your foreign guests will receive the same beautiful, highly personalized invitation that your local guests receive.
Making it Your Own
While traditional etiquette provides a foundation, personal touches and contemporary interpretations can reflect the sender's personality and the event's uniqueness. This is where you choose how to put your personal style on the envelope. The combinations of ink colors, papers, calligraphy styles, and added embellishments create an infinite array of choices available. You can create an invitation suite that reflects you and your partner’s uniqueness. (Also, ask your calligrapher about stylizing a calligraphy alphabet to complement to your printer’s fonts).
The art of addressing formal envelopes is an integral part of social correspondence, encapsulating tradition, respect, and personal expression. By blending this with your own creativity, each envelope becomes a testament to both your personal style and your commitment to honoring your recipients. This meticulous practice, therefore, is not just about following rules but about crafting an experience that begins even before the envelope is opened.
